Community / Faith

The Church is a Whore, But She is My Mother (Part 3): Why the Church is Worth it

Thanks for hanging on with me as I have been wrestling through such a heavy subject. I’ve had a hard time putting this post into words and I appreciate your patience in waiting for this part to be published. For a couple weeks now, I’ve been writing about the Church. I’ve asked forgiveness from those in the world that the Church has hurt and called unworthy. I’ve also asked the Church to please rise up in the name of love in a world that needs love and peace. This week, I’m talking about why the Church is worth it even for all the issues it has. This is my personal account of why I have decided in my own heart to call myself a Christian for the rest of my life.

Let me start by saying that God is my rock. He is who I answer to and get my answers from. He is the Father I go to daily to make sense out of my crazy life and without strength and healing from Him, I would most certainly be lost. In my own heart, I’ve had a lot of reason in this last year to need Him and to reach out to Him for help. It is absolutely essential for you to understand this about me before anything else.

It’s also crucial to know that Christian’s are sinners. There. I said it. There’s a reason why there is a beautiful and perfect God to go to, and that reason is because we can’t seem to figure things out for ourselves without screwing everything up. We lie, cheat, steal, blame others, pick fights, cause drama, gossip, and slander the name of the One we follow. You have heard my apology to those I’ve hurt and you’ve heard me talk about the ways the Church has hurt me. Trust me when I say I know it’s not easy to get along with those within the Church. But when it came to a point in my own life where I had to choose whether I would stick around or not, it was about so much more than these things. It was more than holding a grudge against the leader that I trusted to be perfect that ended up not being perfect. It was more than the peer that seemed to thrive on making me feel little. It was about more than what people would think about me if I stayed or left. It was about two things: My untouchable, fierce love for the God that created this Church, and my appreciation and desire to do life within a community of other people just as messed up as I was.

There is a beauty and depth in a relationship once all bets are off, masks come off, and there’s nothing left to hide. In a vulnerability like that, you open yourself up to immense growth and change. Whether you end up hurt and rejected or loved and accepted, it is you who chooses whether to grow or not. You can hold tight to blame and hurt, or you can choose to love anyway and experience a new depth in your heart. I decided to choose the Church and all that it had to offer a few years ago when I felt like running away, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve made. I have definitely encountered opposition and people who were more concerned with gossiping than growing, but I’ve grown up by learning how to deal with it. And I’ve also acquired a softer heart that appreciates the opportunity to love so deeply with brothers and sisters who can share their dysfunction with me. I enjoy sharing my life and my heart with them.

Today I got a phone call from an awesome friend of mine. She’s one of my dysfunctional Christian sisters who messes up as much as I do. Because we have both decided to be so open with each other and share everything, she knows about some hurt going on in my life right now. She called me up to talk, give me some advice, and see how I was doing. This is why I do life within the Church. Because for every person I’ve encountered who wanted to snub their nose at me for being real and honest about my life, I’ve made five good friends who wanted to help pull me back up. And I know that if I hadn’t opened up my heart and allowed myself to get hurt first, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to have such amazingly, beautiful people surrounding me now when I find myself really needing it. That’s the Church that God ordained to speak life into this world. This is the Church that I have so lovingly devoted myself to for better or worse.

**I realize this is a huge topic, but please know this is just my personal experience and opinion. If you have questions or want to speak further about this, please don’t hesitate to email me! Thanks!!

♥Katie

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